


FILI vs. SOUP

by Anonymous



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Bad Cooking, Cooking Lessons, Durincest, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Sick Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 23:55:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20380243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Fili can't cook, so Kili decides to teach him. That was the plan, anyway.





	FILI vs. SOUP

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LittleSwallow (Hobbity)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hobbity/gifts).

> Loosely inspired by Chelidona's vegan AU where Fili can't cook. The food in this story isn't necessarily vegan, but could easily be imagined that way!

It had all started a few weeks back when Fili had gotten sick - so sick that he’d had to call into work and actually use some of his sick days, the _ horror _ \- and Kili had gotten the bright idea to stop by his brother’s place and fix him some soup. Kili was no great chef by any means, but he still knew his way around a kitchen. And soup? Soup he could do.

So he let himself into Fili’s apartment and headed toward the kitchen, calling out a greeting as he set his grocery bags down on the counter. (Fili responded from the bedroom with a very stuffy, _“Hello.”_) But things immediately went awry. Kili frowned as he rifled through Fili’s cabinets, pulled out all the drawers. But there was nothing. No pots, no pans, not even a spatula.

Kili raced to the bedroom.

“Where,” he gasped, “are your cooking utensils??”

“My wat,” Fili managed.

“Your soup cauldron!”

“I don’ hab one.”

Kili’s shoulders slumped. “Not even a saucepan?”

“No.” Fili snuffled. “I don’t cook. No time.” He sneezed into a tissue. “No interest, either.”

Kili just stared, mouth agape. “But how do you eat?”

"Microwave."

“Fili! You’ve got to eat properly, it’s no wonder you’re sick!”

_“Kili,_ ” Fili whined, “I _ already _ feel bad, I don’t wanna be berated now, too.”

“You’re right,” Kili said. “There will be plenty of time for that later.”

And later was today.

Fili had made a full recovery (no doubt thanks to the spectacular soup that Kili had somehow managed to whip up), which meant that today they were starting cooking lessons. Courtesy of Kili himself.

Unfortunately, Kili had to work on Fili’s days off this week, so that meant their lessons would have to be conducted remotely. But that was no matter: they still had phones, so Kili quickly texted out:

_Your assignment, should you choose to accept it (and you better!): make yourself a grilled cheese sandwich. This is easy enough that even a total beginner like YOU can’t possibly mess up. All you need is bread, cheese, butter + the frying pan I left you. Send pics! xoxo _

Some twenty minutes later, Kili received a picture of a charred grilled cheese sandwich.

_HOW?!?!?!_ Kili texted as soon as his manager was out of sight.

_The avocado kept falling out when I tried to flip the sandwich. The bottom burned._

_THERE IS NO AVOCADO IN A GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH FILI WHAT THE FUCK_

_Your original assignment was an insult to my intelligence, so I decided to go gourmet._

_YEAH AND HOW WELL DID THAT TURN OUT FOR YOU?????_

Kili resisted the urge to smack himself in the face with his phone. His older brother was an idiot.

\---

‘Idiot,’ of course, was a slight exaggeration - there wasn’t much that Fili couldn’t accomplish when he put his mind to it. The problem was that he simply didn’t _like_ cooking - especially after a long day spent at the office.

(It probably didn’t help that he happened to have an adorable little brother who had recently started cooking nutritious meals for Fili every week - “Just until you get your shit together!” Which, of course, wasn’t much of an incentive for Fili to get said ‘shit’ together.)

As is wont to happen, though: then Kili got sick. And Fili was left with a dilemma.

_I can’t make Kili soup from a can! Not after everything he’s done for me!!_

Fili clenched his fist, full of fiery determination. His little bro deserved nothing but the best, and Fili was going to make that happen. One way or another.

So, bright and early the next day, Fili set out. He went to the store, gathered his ingredients, and then stopped by Kili’s apartment (which, thankfully, was fully stocked with cooking utensils). He quickly set to work, washing the produce, chopping and dicing the veggies. He dumped it all into the cauldron and turned up the heat. Then, he waited.

Time passed. Fili checked inside the soup cauldron. The leafy vegetables had all shrunk down, and the potatoes were soft and tender. Overall, it smelled… edible. Fili dipped a spoon into the broth. It did not taste like poison.

Convinced that he was not about to make his brother’s plight even worse, Fili dutifully ladled the soup into a bowl and approached Kili’s sickroom. “I made you soup,” he announced, presenting the bowl to Kili like an offering.

Kili gave him a wan smile. “Smells nice. What brand issit?”

“No brand,” Fili said. “I made it from scratch, just for you.”

Kili’s smile wobbled. “No, really.”

_“Really,”_ Fili insisted, taking one of Kili’s clammy hands in his own. “I stayed up all night watching YouTube videos until I had mastered their ways.” Fili gave Kili’s hand a squeeze. “Will you try it?”

Kili put on a brave face and said, “All right.” Then he ate a spoonful. Then he ate another. “It’s actually _good,”_ he whispered. “I can’t believe it.”

(Fili let out a sigh of relief and then, once Kili was no longer paying attention, quickly deleted Bombur’s number from speed dial. His services were clearly unnecessary now.)

Needless to say, with the help of Fili’s fortifying YouTube soup, Kili soon recovered from his illness. But now, a new dilemma emerged: who was to do all of the cooking, now that Fili had finally mastered that subtle art?!

An argument soon broke out, not over which of them_ had_ to cook, but over which of them _got_ to cook for the other. Fili found that he liked cooking if it was for Kili, and Kili, likewise, had enjoyed meal prepping for his brother: it was a way to show that he cared.

In the end, they decided to take turns, going back and forth from each other’s apartments every night until they finally decided to just move in together. Their excuse was that living together made things “easier,” but practically everyone knew the real reason.

So anyway, that’s how a bowl of soup brought Fili and Kili together ❤

THE END


End file.
